I’d like to take a moment to congratulate John Calipari for his monumental under-achievement at Kentucky this season. Coach Slime-Trail bolted from my beloved University of Memphis for Big Blue, accepting a $32 million dollar contract and taking the nation’s number one recruiting class with him. He left behind NCAA sanctions and vacated victories, not to mention a feeling like we’d just spent nine years of our lives doting on a two-bit whore, but I digress.
Kentucky hailed him as the second coming of Adolph Rupp, or maybe the second coming of Rick Pitino. In either case, he was supposed to be the savior of Kentucky basketball, and all season, I listened quietly to the smugness of Wildcat fans. With their newfound leader and dynamic freshmen, they strutted with a boldness not seen in many years. As victory after victory piled up, their chests swelled and their boasts became more bold. No one could stop them.
Well, except their savior. When coach slime-trail got against equal competition, his coaching deficiencies rose to the surface as they always have. Like any other two-bit whore, he’s great at seduction but short on substance. He has the guile to lure in the recruits and just enough coaching skill to get them on the right course, but when he faces equal talent in pressure situations, he is not tactician enough to adapt mid-game. If his players’ talent is not enough to win, he is doomed.
So congratulations, Kentucky. After how you treated Tubby Smith, you got the man you deserve for the job. I hope it’s a long-lasting marriage that repeats this year’s outcome over and over, and thank you for freeing Memphis from the ungrateful whore. Much like Tennessee’s football program, in the long-run we will be much better off without the fast-talking, sleazy coach who plays fast and loose with the rules.