I get to pick up my kids tomorrow! God, I’ve missed those boys. Five months is way too long to go without seeing your children, and even though I try to talk to them on the phone as often as I can, it’s just not the same as seeing their faces, hearing their voices in person, and feeling their touches. They are the light in my soul and two of the best kids in the world (bias admitted).
On this day, I’m always nervous about getting them. I always fear that maybe I’ve forgotten how to be their daddy or lost the ability to soothe and comfort them. I realize that it’s a silly and irrational fear, but that realization doesn’t make the fear any less palpable. There are so many questions that run through my head: What if they don’t remember me? What if they are angry with me? What if they have changed so much I don’t know them anymore? Yes, these questions may seem silly to those of you who see your kids regularly, but to those of us who go months at a time without seeing them, those fears are as real as anything.
I have a lot of work to do today to get ready for them, things that normally would already be done, but because of my illness I’ve had to put a lot of stuff on the back burner. Maybe staying busy today will keep my mind off of the fears and allow the day to go faster.
I’ll try to carve out a few minutes to write an entry or two while they are here and will try to share a few pics. Until then, I hope everyone is having a wonderful week.