Sunday Afternoon Ramblings

I’m no choir boy.  I’ve kicked up my share of dust and had my share of fun, but I’m no derelict either.  I’ve worked since I was about 10, starting out helping in my dad’s business.  I’ve worked hard physical labor, delivered pizza, taught classes, written books, sold cars, and busted my ass to eke out a meager existence.  None of it has been easy, and more times than I can count, I’ve thought about giving up and becoming a vagabond.  But that’s not who I am.  In my heart, I’m a warrior, and I’ll fight until my last breath to achieve my goals.  There may be stronger, smarter, better-looking, more successful men than I am, but there aren’t many who are tougher.  I’m not saying that to brag, just stating a fact about myself.

Last semester, I pushed myself through some of the hardest moments of my life and am proud that the only days I missed at work were those when I had doctors’ appointments.  Once, I delivered pizza for a couple of weeks with a pulled calf muscle.  Each step sent blinding pain up my leg, but my children needed a roof over their heads and food in their bellies, so I ignored the discomfort.  I also took an 8 pound iron ball to the head and lived to tell about it.  There are tougher men than I am, but it’s a small measure.

I’m no choir boy.  I’ve done my share of living, but when I’ve given myself to a woman, I’ve not broken my word.  There aren’t many men who can honestly say that.  There aren’t many women either.  If I commit to a relationship, I’m with that person and no one else.  Again, I’m not bragging, just stating a simple truth of myself.  When I’m single, I’ve broken a few hearts, but I don’t lie or lead anyone on, never offering more than I can live up to.  I’m always honest about what I can and cannot give.  At this point in my life, I don’t know if I’ll ever love again.  Only time can answer that.  Right now, I just want to heal and focus on my goals.

This place I live in is nothing to brag about.  It’s old and dilapidated with few modern luxuries.  The materialistic people in this world would turn their noses up at it and shun me as a bum, but it’s my little corner in this world and brings me peace.  I can live without the comforts for that.  I wrote most of Dorkhun in this broken-down motor home and will complete book four here, too.  My life may not have the shiny facade most people try to build to show the world how great they are, but I’ve never really given a damn about the facade.  I’m content with myself as a human being, and that’s enough for me.  That’s not to say I don’t have lessons to learn and maturity to gain because I do, but at my core, I’m decent and can live with that.

I’ve learned to define success on my own terms.  I’ll probably never be wealthy, the toast of the town, or a rock star, but those aren’t my goals.  They may have been when I was young and immature, but now, I define my success by the quality of what I do.  Every time a reader tells me they enjoyed one of my books, I’ve succeeded.  Every time a student thanks me for giving them a solid foundation, I’ve succeeded.  When I leave this earth, I’ll have left a mark, maybe not a huge mark, but a somewhat positive one.  I may not be prince charming or a knight in shining armor or nice little choir boy, but I’m D.A. Adams, father, writer, educator, and friend.  That’s enough for me.

16 thoughts on “Sunday Afternoon Ramblings”

  1. I think that people from TN and the Appalachian Mountain area in general are pretty tough. It comes from generations of doing what you can with what you’ve got—and wearing shoes while doing it! : ) I also think people rarely get to see the full extent of their positive influence. A reader may simply say to you, “I enjoyed your book,” but may not tell you the full story. For example they may really mean, “I enjoyed your book because it provided a wonderful escape while I was undergoing chemo, and the painful treatments seemed to fly by when I was reading it.” So that being said, keep up the good fight.

  2. I remember alot of those old days you are talking about from the past. You have always been a good person with a wonderful heart. You have never forgotten where you come from or tried to act like you are any better. Your loyalty to your friends is a treasure to those of us lucky enough to call you friend!!!! You my friend are in fact rich, with a wealth some only wish to obtain!!!!

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